DADA Genma stlye
by Deneb-sama
Summary: Harry Potter is being protected and who does Dumbledore get to protect this hapless hero? Why the NWC gang! What will happen with Ranma running around and Genma teaching? Un-beta version will change for the better.
1. Prolouge

Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter or Ranma ½ unfortunately, but I do own this plot so that's a start right?

"Harry I think you are going to need protection this year." Dumbledore sighed looking over his half moon spectacles at a small, emerald green eyed, lanky, raven haired boy.

"May I ask what you mean by 'protection'?" Harry glanced up at the aging old man feeling guilty for the trouble he had caused this year. All he saw when he looked into the headmaster's eyes was dull haze that replaced the once infamous twinkle.

"You need people to guard you and I think I can provide that if I pull some strings." Standing up Dumbledore went and patted Faukes gently on the head staring into the distance as if he could see something no one else could.

"Is that necessary sir?" Harry was always getting into trouble with dark forces, but he always got out of it some how. He didn't need to be watched over like a baby that had just discovered pointy objects.

"I am afraid so Harry it seems that Voldemort is back and he will most likely be coming after you."

"Alright who will it be? Do I know them?"

"No and I think it is best that you don't know them or tell anyone about this. Although I am fairly certain that Miss Granger and Mr. Weasly will find out either way so you may inform them." Dumbledore turned to Harry and gave a tired smile then wished him luck for the summer.

----------------------

_This wasn't right how could Dumbledore not trust him? Sure he had done stupid things in the past 1, but hiring secret body guards? Isn't that a bit extreme?_

Harry kicked a stone as he wandered the park aimlessly. It didn't surprise him that no one was there it was midnight 2 and in town it was practically a sin to go out after 10 pm.

"Who wants to believe the Harry Potter can keep himself out of trouble?" He shouted at no one in particular. "It's not like I ask for it to happen to me 3." Harry glanced at his watch again and sighed heavily slumping down into a bench.

_Five....four....three......two...one....that was uneventful as usual, but what was l expecting everyone to jump out of the bushes and wish me a happy birthday? No way especially after the way I acted last year towards everyone. I endangered students other than Ron, Hermione, and me. I also lost Sirius because of my stupidity and all because I didn't want to listen to Snape. Oh no the famous Harry Potter is to good for precaution and lessons. Well here it goes I guess now that I'm sixteen I should start a new leaf with the motto of 'Keep my nose out of other people's damned business.'_

Harry got up and slowly trudged back to the Dursley's house not expecting what he found there, not expecting the Dursley's to be worried about him, or even them wanting to wish him a happy birthday, but like on a lot of occasions Harry was wrong. For the moment he reached their doorstep getting ready to get back in the house the door was slammed open and he was dragged in by a pair of powerful hands.

"Where were you boy?" Vernon whispered afraid of waking the neighbors and ruining their spotless reputation 4.

"Yes where were you we were worried about your safety." Harry's aunt pestered actually adjusting Harry's shirt in an attempt to make him look better.

"We wanted to wish you a happy birthday, but your butt wasn't in your bed." Dudley smiled at Harry sincerely. All of this attention was unnerving Harry greatly it made him feel like there was something wrong with it all. Gazing around at the Dursley's faces Harry couldn't help, but relax and gasp in awe. They looked so concerned and actually happy about Harry being here. This was the first time he felt welcome truly at this house and he loved it so much.

-----------------

"Wait a minute old man we are going where with who?" A red headed girl with a pigtail and Chinese clothes started shaking a panda 5. The panda held up a sign saying 'Be kind to the animals! Especially Pandas we are endangered'

"Oh you'll be endangered al right if you don't give me answer right now"

"Please this won't get you anywhere fast Ranma" A girl with short almost bowl cut hair grabbed a sign out of the panda's hand while it was writing another comment.

"Stay out of this Akane" Ranma grabbed the sign and read 'You are no son of mi'

"All I'm trying to say is that this would go a lot faster if we had some hot water" Akane sighed balancing a tea kettle in one hand.

"Of course I can beat him senseless if I'm a guy much faster" Ranma started grabbing at the kettle to get hit in the head by Akane.

"For your dad baka 5! He could tell us a lot faster if he wasn't a panda!6"

"umm...right my dad that's what I was thinking of too. I was just joking with ya." Ranma rubbed the back of her head. "Guess I forgot about that detail.

"You are no son of mine Ranma!" A sudden out burst from a bald man wearing training garb and glasses yelled.

"What do you mean pop?"

"Forgetting that you own father is in fact a human? For shame, but anyway I received this letter from England instructing us to go there and while a teach you and your friends must guard a boy" Genma produced a letter from one of his pockets.

"So who exactly is going with us?"

"It would be a simple matter of finding them all" Genma nodded his head thoughtfully not paying attention to Ranma.

"I said who is going with us?!" Ranma screamed in her father's ear while Akane snatched the letter away.

"Well according to this it is You, your dad, Ryoga, Shampoo, Mousse, Ukyo, and....."

"And who Akane?" Ranma tilted her head while holding her father over the pond.

"Me"

"What?! Not only do I have to put up with those weirdoes and pop you are going too?" Ranma dropped Genma in her surprise promptly turning him into a panda.

"That's what it says and we have to go to England to pick up our supplies soon her are our air plane tickets." Akane held up seven tickets to Ranma.

"Well we better get started finding Ryoga alone could take a week"

-------------------------------

A/N-

This is my second fic so I hope it is good as my other one or at least as good as everyone says my other fic is (Copyright Infringement). This one is a tad more serious I guess with out a punch line every other line and the only cross dressing will be done by the professionals (Ranma!)

Well you have to read the other books, but being the nice author I am here are a few. He confronted Voldemort in his first year, fought a giant snake (don't want to use that name because that's not the right animal), went after a deranged criminal who he thought was after him, dueled Lord Voldemort after helping resurrect him, and then he brought school children to the ministry of magic to fight Voldemort again.

I thought I had him saying he wasn't going to do anything stupid and yet he is wandering a park at midnight? Hasn't he heard of kidnappers?

From what I have read J.K. Rowling says different and Harry does kinda ask for it. Trying to save people only losing more in return.

I think it is already ruined unless their rep is being annoying pricks that have an unruly son and are abusive towards their nephew.

Baka- it means idiot stupid etc.

If you don't already know the people from Ranma ½ suffer from a curse in which they turn into different things when splashed with cold water.

Also all of my stories will be updated at later times because I have a lot of school work and have been getting writers block every other day.


	2. Summer Perils

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or Ranma ½ so I shall console myself with owning the plot and also kidnapping Ryoga at the moment.

Dear Harry,

Happy Birthday! I hope your summer has been going well. You will never guess what they wrote in the daily prophet yesterday.

_Well of course not I don't subscribe to the Daily Prophet any more. Especially after last year and all with trying to write bad jokes about me.'_

It was a huge article on Voldemort and his appearance in the ministry 1. They even wrote you an apology Harry in the paper!

_This should be interesting I wonder if I could find a copy so I could read it._

Well I hope you like the present I sent you. Have a great remaining summer vacation and hope to see you soon!

With Love

Hermione

Harry crossed his fingers as he slowly and reluctantly opened Hermione's gift. Harry's face fell at the sight of what he held now partially unwrapped. Sure it was candy, but it was sugar free! Unfortunately neither he nor Ron had worked up the courage to tell Hermione their secret regarding her gifts. For the truth was this candy wrecked havoc on their digestive systems for days 2. So secretly when they were at school they feed it all to Ms. Norris when Filch wasn't looking and incidentally caused the cat to generate a great liking to the pair.

_Well it looks like I might make another visit to Ms. Norris earlier this year than I had planned. Hmmâ€ there is something taped to the box wonder what it is. Maybe a warning label they put on all the Muggle items to warn children away from them 3._

Harry slowly pulled off the piece of paper from the underside of his present. To his great pleasure Hermione had included a copy of the article. With a wide smile Harry tossed the box of candy across the room and jumped on his bed then began reading.

--------

"Wow that was an interesting two weeks." Akane sighed wiping her brow as she finished packing.

"Shampoo happy Ranma invite with." Shampoo beamed turning to Ukyo who had just managed to fit all of her gear into a trunk of her own.

"Yeah it was surprising that Ran-hun would do something so nice for us. I mean England how romantic" Ukyo sighed leaning back to fantasize.

"Hiya you right think of chances we get!"

"You two cut it out this isn't a vacation! It is a job for Ranma and also we have to go to school while we're there" Akane yelled at the two trying to control her violent urges.

"Violent girl just jealous of Amazon beauty" Shampoo tossed some of her purple locks casually to annoy Akane.

"Yeah, I mean we defiantly have a better chance with Ran- hun than you do." Ukyo giggled at the sight of Akane starting to fume scaring Ryoga and Mousse.

"Girls maybe we should calm down." Ryoga sweat dropped watching the scene sitting as close as he could to the wall. "Akane definitely has beauty of her own she just chooses not to waist them on Ranma."

"Thank you Ryoga you're always so kind." Akane smiled calming down instantly at the comment.

"Hmmmâ€ so this is a picture of the kid we're supposed to tail, guard, and in general keep an eye on." Ranma pulled out a photo from his pocket and passed it around the group.

"Wow this kid is" Ukyo crinkled her nose.

"Cute." Akane giggled looking at a very recent photo of Harry Potter.

"Shampoo no like boy he look weak." 4

-------------------

Harry's summer had just plummeted face first into the ground after his spectacular birthday.

_I'm a grown boy I can look after myself why don't they realize this! I can cut my own food, I can comb my own hair, and I can defiantly choose my own clothes!_

Harry was sick of the Dursley's attention it was nice and all, but he needed space! They went almost everywhere with him and when they didn't go they were worried sick about him when he got back.

"Please leave me alone Uncle Vernon." Harry mumbled

"Why?" Came a truly puzzled question from his uncle staring down at him.

"I need to have some privacy for this." Harry jabbed his thumb at the bathroom door a deep blush rising in his cheeks.

"Nonsense boy! There isn't anything in there that you should do that you can't do in front of family." Came a hearty reply from the chuckling uncle with a dreamy look on his face.

_I will not kill them they are my family. They offer me food, shelter, and protection I can not kill them. Even though they are being complete idiots I can not kill them._

A/N-

1. In the fifth book this happened I guess it would be considered a major event and knowing the ministry there would be a leak or two.

2. Sugar free candy can have that effect on people, but for me it has no affect what so ever.

3. You know the Mr. Yuck faces on bottles of bleach and etc.

4. I will give you three guesses on who said that and the first two don't count.


	3. Meeting you part 1

Disclaimer- I do not Harry Potter or Ranma ½ in fact I'm not getting paid for this at all. Though I kinda wish I was, but meh it's fun so I don't care really. Also thank you for the compliments on the story especially since so far it is un-betaed if you want to beta a story of mine just give me an e-mail.

Ryoga: Can I go now?

Me: Why?

Ryoga: The story is starting I need to be in there.

Me: sighs fine, but don't worry I will be nice to you okay

Ryoga: Does that mean your kidnapping me again?

Me: Nope I'm kidnapping Genma next and lets start the story.

-----------

Harry felt a wave of relief rush over him. It wasn't some weird spell that had been cast on the Dursleys or some horrible plot by Voldemort it was all perfectly normal. It was the simple explanation of Social Services was coming to visit them after many complaints from the neighbors.

"So Harry do they treat you well? Do you feel safe here?" The eager social service officer looked over her clipboard at Harry.

"Could you define 'safe' please." Harry couldn't help, but smile in the way the Dursleys reacted when a person actually showed up not a week after Harry's birthday. 1

_This is wrong I know it is wrong. Then why does it feel so good? It's just a little pay back for the times they have locked me in something._

Harry repeatedly assured himself it was nothing more than that. Although he felt that some where deep inside him he wanted the Dursleys to suffer for all the pain he had gone through because of them. The only thing keeping him at bay was the thought of what would Sirius think if he did that?

"Well do you feel that you can trust the Dursleys? Are you happy with what has happened to you this summer or any summer? It says here you attend a boarding school, but we checked with Saint Brutus and you aren't registered there 2." A concerned look crossed the young woman's face when she tried to get a better look at Harry. For she saw that he was extremely skinny, the clothes he was wearing were clearly inadequate probably hand me downs from that son who clearly wasn't under fed. Also at the mention of the school not knowing about him she clearly saw the boy twitch.

"What? I'm not in their records? Then did they lose my file?" Harry tried desperately to put on a concerned face although he didn't see why wouldn't a normal boy be excited about that? He quickly changed the expression to joy.

"Umm.." The woman quickly flipped through her file and found something that she was nearly positive wasn't there a second ago. "Wait actually I must have been thinking of someone else here is your file right here." Quickly she passed it over to Harry who she noticed was pale. "What's the matter?"

"Oh, nothing I just had never seen my file before." Harry eagerly searched through it finding one single clue to where it came from. One of the signatures was extremely loopy and very familiar.

--------------

Akane had just gone through the second aspirin bottle that week first it was trying to keep Ryoga from wandering off alone, then the constant attempts of Mousse to find Shampoo without his glasses, and then the constant fights over Ranma! She was overjoyed when it came to stepping on that plane, though it took longer than usual because Mousse with all of his secret weapons kept setting off security devices.

"Mousse next time please leave those behind or put them in your luggage." Akane irritably whispered to the cowering hidden weapons expert under both her and Shampoo's glares.

"I'm sorry my beautiful Shampoo! Please forgive me."

"You make us late for plane barely got on in time thanks to you and stupid weapons. That why Shampoo like Ranma he no need weapons!"

"That's right our Ranma can take anyone on bare handed." Ukyo joined in the degradation of Mousse further.

"Leave Mousse alone he chose to be a hidden weapons expert and he has his own style you should respect that." Ryoga jumped to Mousse's defense when he realized no one else would.

"Your right Ryoga that was insensitive so... I'm sorry Mousse" Akane looked down at the floor of the airplane.

"Hey pop that was my onigiri you just ate!" Ranma whined while she watched Genma eat her last rice ball.

"Oh you poor girl let me get you some more right away." A steward 3 smiled at the young girl form Ranma and walked to the back of the plane.

"Worked like a charm thanks pops." Ranma gave the thumbs up to her accomplice.

"Any time my boy anytime." Genma smiled back as they ignored the complaints from the others.

"You should be angry with Ranma!" Ryoga pointed accusingly at Ranma who had just received extra rice balls.

"Ranma! What are you doing?!" Akane marched over to the girl and her father now sharing the ill gotten goods.

"Mrph?" came the strangled reply.

"Why are you stealing food?"

"Fm pee p wha omplaining 4.

"Excuse me, but the plane has landed please leave now." A stewardess told them and with a little help from security showed them to the front of the airport by the curb.

"The westerners are so rude!" Ukyo muttered as they tried to hail a cab.

--------

"So you are the one who made the fake file for me!" Harry gawked at his headmaster who was carefully sipping tea.

"Yes Harry you assumed correctly about that. I will also do one more thing for you."

"What is that? You already got me this nice room?"

"Introduce you to your bodyguards Harry." The old man clapped his hands and Tom lead seven people into Harry's room at the leaky caldron.

"How can a panda guard anything sir?"

-----------------------

A/n-

1. See I'm not a cruel author I have explained the whole mystery of the Dursleys temporary insanity all will eventually be revealed.

2. The chances of the school they mentioned being real very high and the chances of Social Security looking into that school even higher.

3. You know like the male version of the stewardess.

4. Remember Ranma is currently eating so she doesn't make much sense what I wanted her to sat was.

"It's free so what are you complaining about?"


	4. Meeting you part 2

Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter or Ranma ½ and so on and so forth this is not for prophet yada yada etc.

Another thing people might wanna know is that since I don't want a very large authors note section I have decided to do this.

".." English

/.../ Japanese

Me: :)

Genma: :)

Me: -gives Genma food-

Genma: -eats food-

Me: XD

Genma: :)

Me: Time for the story! Next on the list is .... Ranma!

Genma: XD

-----------

"Well actually Harry that panda is Mr. Saotome and he is the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher."

"We are going to be taught by a panda?" Harry was getting nervous at the decisions Dumbledore was making 1.

/Hey pops what are they talking saying?/ Ranma still in girl form asked of her currently panda form father.

"What did she just say?" Harry pointed at Ranma eagerly.

/What did he say?/

/I don't know! /Akane yelled at Ranma.

"How are they supposed.."

/to protect him if we don't../

"Understand each other?!" Harry stood up with his final words.

"It would seem you already understand each other quite well Harry." Dumbledore smiled as he got up and walked over to the red headed girl. /So you are Saotome Ranma correct?/ 2

/What's it to ya old man?/ Harry sat in shock at the tone this girl was using towards Dumbledore.

/Please put these on if you wish to accept this job and if you choose not to I can have you on a plane home with in a day./ Dumbledore offered seven necklaces to the group. Which were eagerly snatched by Genma on shoved onto each teen's neck.

"Can you understand me now?" Dumbledore carefully asked.

"Yeah it was the English that got me. I never really paid attention to that in school." Ranma laughed slightly.

"Aren't you speaking English now?" Harry jumped back into the conversation seeing his first chance.

"Huh? No I'm speaking...Japanese? Wait when did the kid learn perfect Japanese?"

"Well, right now because of those necklaces it sounds like your speaking English to us and to you it would be your native language." Dumbledore carefully explained to the shocked people.

"So this is the magic that westerners use." Shampoo carefully inspected the necklace she was wearing. 3

_She just spoke in a complete sentence now she could even more annoying than usual_

Akane twitched at the thought of the new Shampoo.

"So who are the other six people?" Harry glanced over the group noticing a weird vibration surrounding them all.

"May I introduce us?" Akane moved forward trying to take charge and quickly get respect from these westerners.

"Certainly miss." Dumbledore nodded before going back to his tea.

"Well I am Tendo Akane, the girl with the giant Spatula is Kounji Ukyo, the boy with the umbrella and bandana is Hibiki Ryoga, the one Red head is Saotome Ranma, the one with the glasses is Muu-Muu 4 Mousse, and the girl with the purple hair is Xiong Shampoo 5."

"Ummm.. okay I think I can remember that all." Harry looked at each face trying to connect names with them. "Well I'm Harry Potter." Harry braced himself for a squeal or something.

"Nice to meet ya." Ranma extended her hand.

"Uh...okay." Harry proceded to shake everyone's hand including Mr. Saotomes.

"So when are we going to get these wands or whatever you called them." Ryoga asked tentatively hoping it would be far away because so far Akane had led him everywhere holding his hand so he wouldn't get lost.

"That would be Diagon Alley dear boy and if you want when you reach the school we can solve your problem." Dumbledore finally had finished his tea and was handing a pouch to Akane. "Her is the money you will be needing with a little extra too."

"What problem does Ryoga have?" Harry turning quickly to Dumbledore waiting for an answer.

"Well you may want to ask Mr. Hibiki of that if he would wish you to know."

-----------------

"An interesting group you have brought me Mr. Potter." Slowly the shop owner, Mr. Ollivander carefully inspected each person making them cringe in turn before stopping in front of Ranma leaning even closer to her.

"What an interesting aura you have miss?"

"Yeah what of it." Ranma couldn't help, but shiver at the look in this man's eyes almost as if he saw through her.

"I just don't know many people who talk this normally after learning neko-ken."

The group gawked at this man spouting one of Ranma's secrets so easily with out a second thought.

"You leave my husband alone creepy man!" Shampoo quickly moved in between Ranma and this new threat.

"Your man? Excuse me, but Ranma honey is mine." Ukyo moved next to Shampoo.

"What are you _girls_ talking about?" Akane put stress on girls to make them remember Harry who currently looked like he was impersonating a goldfish.

"Ummm... she is your husband?" Harry asked nervously.

"Uhhh.... Shampoo and me are thinking of another Ranma." Ukyo quickly blurted out.

"We might as well tell him later if we are going to guard him we might as well tell him my other secret!" Ranma finally spoke after getting over her shock.

----------------

"You're a MAN!?" Harry backed quickly away into the door staring at the now boy form Ranma.

"Yeah don't be so shocked about it." Ranma sighed trying not to get upset.

"Sorry it's just that... well you looked so much like a girl." Harry sunk to the floor trying to sort out the facts.

"I was a girl and I will explain one more time on how this works." Ranma grabbed the

aspirin before starting up the story again. "Okay see me and my old man were on a training voyage in China..."

---------Ranma flashback-------

"Here, sir. Is legendary training ground of accursed springs." The guide stated in a bad accent gesturing at the many springs behind him.

"Are you ready Ranma?" Genma asked his son.

"This place isn't so impressive." Ranma replied very unimpressed at the sight he beheld.

"You very strange one, no, sir?" The guide turned to his two clients. " This place very dangerous. Nobody use now. Is more than one hundred springs here...and everyone have own tragic legend!"

"Ranma follow me!" Genma ignoring the guides warning jumped onto the nearest bamboo pole.

"Ah! Sir! What you doing?" The guide called desperately after them as Ranma followed his father.

"I won't go easy on you." Genma warned his son going into a fighting stance.

"That's how I want it." Ranma called back going into his own stance.

"Please sir! Very bad if you fall in spring!" The guide tried calling back the two headstrong martial artists to no avail.

"OyShohToh!" Genam called out flying at Ranma trying to land the first blow, but his son easily dodged it sending his father into the nearest spring.

"Gotcha." Ranma laughed satisfied as he watched his father hit the water. "Pop? What's up? We done already?" Suddenly out of the water a panda flew out sporting what looked like the outfit his father was just wearing. "Yow! Wha? Wha? Wha?"

"That is spring of drowned panda!" The guide yelled from the safe ground at the confused boy. "There is tragic legend, very tragic, of panda who drowned there two thousand year ago! Now whoever fall in take body of panda!"

"Oh No!" Was the only reply Ranma could think of as the panda launched himself for another attack. "Wait a second you never said anything about.." Ranma did his best, but he couldn't avoid the fatal blow that sent him into a different spring head first to his new cursed life.

"Ohhh! Not spring of Drowned girl! There is very tragic legend, of young girl who drowned there one thousand five hundred year ago! Now whoever fall in that spring." A red headed young girl emerged from the spring wearing Ranma's clothing. "take body of young girl! You see what I mean?" Ranma pulled open his now her shirt to see two very perky foreign objects occupying his/her chest.

---End of Ranma flashback 6---------

A/N-

1. Wouldn't you be nervous if your principal or what ever suddenly appointed a large animal to teach a class?

2. It would make since that Dumbledore is bi-lingual right how else would he set this up?

3. OMG!! Shampoo can now speak full sentences in this fic! One of the minor reasons was my computer has tummy aches when I type to long in Shampoo mode. So do the people I talk to because I develop her little speech problem.

4. Mousse doesn't have a last name so I gave him the last name that is used by the Chinese acrobat circus when they introduce him in duck form.

5. Shampoo has no last or hint of one so that is best I could do.

6. That is a direct quote from the first book I hope this makes you know how much I love my audience.


	5. Authors note

A/n- This is a major authors note that I would like to tell you all okay. One I have school currently going on which takes up a lot of my time so it's hard to update. Two I get writers block a lot during school I am lucky that I can get this far with everything. Three if anyone wants to say anything that they want a reply to just e-mail me if you want to beta my stories just e-mail me about that too.


	6. Shopping

Disclaimer- I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters or Ranma ½ characters. I just own this fic and I don't get any money from it neither...are you happy lawyer people!

Me: Now that's out of the way I have a request

Ranma: What?

Me: Can you –whispers something in Ranma's ear-

Ranma: What!?

Me: I could type you up the cure. So pretty please?

Ranma: Do I have to?

Me: YES!!! –looks at watch- wait ran out of time, but next time I am talking too...hmmm...Happy and let's get this show on the road. Also people remember

"...." English

/...../ Japanese

-------------------

"Since your so cute you can have them for free." The young wizard behind the counter blushed at what he was saying to this complete stranger.

"Geee wiz mister that's really nice of you." The young red head replied with puppy dog eyes and a syrupy tone.

"No problem I'm the manager at this shift so no one will know."

"Wow thanks!"

"Ranko let's go!" A blue haired girl appeared behind the red head grabbing her bags and dragging her away.

"I can't believe you did that....again Ranma!" Akane yelled at the girl in front of her.

"It's not my fault that these people can't resist a cute chick like me." Ranma struck a pose for the group causing them to face fault. In seconds though Akane had gotten her hammer 1 and was chasing Ranma around Diagon Alley.

-----------------------

_How can these people possibly guard me? I mean they can't even get along with each other! Well actually it's kinda nice because all this time I haven't thought about Sirius...until now._

Harry's face fell a little at the thought of his dead uncle until he saw Ranma sailing across the room. That always pushed any rational thought from his head so he could concentrate on breathing while buckling over with laughter.

"Hey stop trying to make Harry laugh by hitting me with that hammer!" Ranma screamed now back in guy form.

"I'm doing no such thing!" Akane though was visibly blushing as she picked up the hammer for another game of whack-o-Ranma.

"Violent chick quit trying to hurt my husband!" Came Shampoo's voice as she swiftly snatched the hammer away from Akane.

"Give it back right now!"

"No thank you I think you might cause permanent damage to him if I let you play with him any longer."

"I think I'm going to go look around." Ranma muttered stealthily sneaking out the door.

"So Mr. Saotome how do you plane on teaching us this year will it mainly be book work?" Harry turned and asked the giant panda sipping tea casually next to Ryoga and Mousse. Suddenly the panda held up a sign and gave it to Harry.

/Probably book work is always good./

"What does this say?"

A/N- yeah I know this wasn't the update you were hoping for and I promise you that they will be on the train by next update. Also remember that Shampoo has lost her cute little or major speech impediment.

1. You know where she gets the hammer? Hammer space okay hammer space.

Also this is an alternate pairing fic so get your votes in becuase this author is in denial on the actual pairings.


	7. Authors Note 2

Okay I read through all of my stories read through all of the comments and here is my verdict....my stories suck and are mediocre in my eyes. There for I shall redo all the chapters before I allow myself to continue any of them further. That is all from this author so to the people who pointed out to people or to themselves "Hey these stories don't have a plot!" I must say this....what took you so long to finally review and say that?! So they will come back and have a plot and better story lines and blah blah blah. Just in general better, but the story outlines will remain the same so don't worry for all you fans who like the chapters the way they are.


	8. At school finally

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or Ranma ½ I currently own right now –digs through pocket- a baggy, a gum wrapper, and a bowl with the left over oatmeal I just ate.

Me: So Happy what did you think of my disclaimer?

Happy: Very nice, but your going to keep your end of the bargain right?

Me: Of course tell me something about your self.

Happy: You know most of it I have a question why aren't I in this fic with all the pretty girlies?

Me: You will be later

Happy: I better be or you shall pay!

Me: and here is your payment –hands an envelope to Happy- On with the fic.

P.S- These are the current pairings that people voted on (because you all were being evil they were people I knew voting on them.)

Harry x Akane- 7

Shampoo x Mousse- 7

Mousse x Hermione- 5

Ranma x Shampoo- 6

Ukyo x Draco- 7

Ryoga x Ginny- 3

Ryoga x Mousse- 1

Shampoo x Draco- 3

Start voting people and suggestions are always welcome, but Dee I don't think that I can manage a Harry x Fluffy (three headed dog in book one) x Ranma I'm sorry, but the dream is all good.

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Harry's face sunk when he read the letter Hermione had sent him. He decided he must have misinterpreted it so he was going to read it again.

_Okay maybe if I go through this one more time the words will be different. I mean it's probably some horrible joke my eyes are playing on me right?_

Unfortunately for Harry there was no joke and the words didn't change it still read the same thing.

Dear Harry,

I'm sorry to say this, but Ron can no longer be your friend or even speak to you. He wanted me to tell you why so you wouldn't get to mad at us. It's because of Fudge he is threatening to fire Ron's dad if he doesn't stop being friends with you. It's all because he thinks your going to be the next dark lord. We will find away around this I could be the go between girl so that you two could still write notes to each other. Write me back please and maybe include something for Ron.

Hermione

"Is the letter really that bad?" A voice came from behind him suddenly.

"What do you mean?" Turning around Harry saw Akane standing in the doorway.

"Well you just seem upset that's all." Akane pointed to Harry's hand where the letter was crumpled in his fist.

_How would you feel if you just lost your best friend? You wouldn't understand me nothing this bad has ever happened to you! 1_

Harry gave a big sigh and let the letter fall to the floor.

"No it's nothing just getting anxious to get back to school."

"Sure of course you are." Akane glanced at the letter. "Just know this you can talk to us. Even that jerk Ranma can be helpful with these things." With one final glance Akane slipped back into the hallway and headed left.

"Thank Akane." Harry mumbled picking up his letter and tossing into the fireplace and slumped into his chair to watch the embers.

_Why does everything bad have to happen to me?_

Little did Harry know his little world was going to get a whole lot worse.

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/Ranma Shampoo help pack?/ 2 Shampoo cooed from Ranma's bed as she watched him throw his things into a trunk.

/Yeah that'd be great Shampoo!/ Ranma grinned at Shampoo causing her to swoon.

_If my old man has taught me anything it's to get other people to do the work for you._

/Hiya! Shampoo won't let man down./ Shampoo jumped off the bed and began re-packing Ranma's possessions neater.

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After several packing misadventures 3 our 'heroes' finally managed to arrive at the platform 9 ¾ for their train trip to Hogwarts.

"Wow." Ukyo gasped in awe.

"We just walked through a wall and it didn't even break! It's still solid!" Mousse muttered inspecting his glasses to make sure they were still good.

"In all my travels I have never heard of people doing that who weren't already dead." Ryoga added in.

"Well wizards usually try to keep to themselves." Harry butted in dragging his trunk behind him.

"We should go find a vacant compartment." Ranma stated grabbing his trunk and with ease tossing it over his shoulder like one would with a backpack 4. He then jogged towards the train receiving some very interesting looks.

"The ones near the back are usually free." The group quickly followed Ranma so they wouldn't loose him.

_Is Ranma really that strong? I can barely lift my truck and he had to pack enough to get from Japan to Hogwarts and back!_

After a few minutes of looking through the compartments they finally found one to their liking and sat down.

"So what exactly is your job?" Harry finally asked. Just wanting to know what Dumbledore had told them.

"My old man was the one who tool the job ask him." Ranma jabbed his thumb at the panda currently sipping tea.

"But Ranma I can't read Japanese." Harry was quickly becoming upset at his compartment mates. For to him it seemed they expected him to know everything.

"Oh yeah, I keep forgetting because of the stupid translators sorry. Well all we know is that while pop is teaching we guard ya."

"From what exactly are you supposed to guard me from?"

"Everything and everyone." Ranma yawned and promptly fell asleep ending the conversation.

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"Master, you seem tense. Is something wrong?" Wormtail whispered as he approached his dark lord. After waiting a few minutes he received no reply from his master. Soon he was close enough to touch the chair hesitantly he spun it around and what he saw caused him to release a scream into the night.

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"Sooo..." Harry started looking around the carriage at Shampoo, Akane, and Ukyo.

"So what Aryan?" Shampoo looked away from the window to give Harry a you-are-worse-than-toe-jam glare.

"I...uhh... wanted to know where Ranma and Professor Saotome were." Harry muttered wishing he could melt into the seat under the Amazons glare.

"They said they were going to scout the castle for weaknesses."

"Oh...well..."

"Don't worry your little head about it they will be back to be sorted." Ukyo giggled at Harry who was one of the few people who quaked under Shampoo's glares.

"What do you mean they will be sorted?"

"Don't raise your voice to us Aryan!" Shampoo snapped on poor Harry.

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"Pop you see what I see?" Ranma let out a whistle while checking the roof. The panda nodded back at her with regret.

"This place is just begin to be attacked ain't it?" Again the panda nodded it was rare when these two agreed, but when they did it always meant trouble.

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The Great Hall was once again packed with students arriving to further their magical education. The sorting ceremony had just ended and the new arrivals currently were receiving advice, threats, and random punishments as Dumbledore rose.

"Welcome to Hogwarts or for most of you Welcome back." The old man smiled at the bright young faces quickly scanning them for trouble.

"I must add that Mr. Filch has added new items to the unacceptable items list if you wish to view it you will find hanging on his office door. I must stress this year that the Forbidden Forest is called Forbidden for a reason please refrain from going in there those people know who they are." Dumbledore gave Harry, Ron, and Hermione a sharp look.

"Now before the meal we have one more sorting to do." The hall burst into individual conversations until Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"They are foreign students how we persuaded to join us as a cultural exchange program they can speak English only with the help of a translator so please be patient with them. Minerva please escort them in." Professor McGonagall nodded and went to the door who returned with 6 people and a panda in tow.

"Oh let me not forget to introduce our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Genma Saotome." The panda the bowed to the school causing many more outburst asking if this was some sort of joke.

"No this is not a joke and if any of you do not under stand him please find one of the exchange students so they can tell you preferably Ranma his.."

"Hey I'm not my old mans keeper! If I was I would have sold him to that zoo when they offered!" The red headed girl screamed at Dumbledore causing most people including the staff to gasp. Suddenly the girl was hit on the head with a sign by the panda and they proceeded to fight.

A/N: Hmm... I think the Harry Potter characters like messing with my head, but I shall get my revenge on them yes I shall thank you Dee for the inspiration.

1. Harry is being quite confident that the world is centered around him ne? Well Akane has had these troubles and please refer to the manga or anime for what they are.

2. Okay it would make sense that they wouldn't wear the translators all the time. Also no they aren't doing anything mind out of gutters people.

3. the packing misadventures yes....I don't want to type them right now if you want to read them request them in the reviews.

4. Well at least a backpack if you didn't go to my school.


	9. Your placement is

Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter or else Harry and Draco would be kissing in some of the movies. I do not own Ranma ½ or some people would be dead. Ta da a disclaimer made simple I do own the story plot people that is one of the things I do own!

Me: Yes today we have my co-author kitty

Kitty: About time you introduced me!

Me: Don't be rude kitty

Kitty: Fine we agree what's happening right?

Me: Yes…, but should we announce you know what?

Kitty: Yes we should

Me: Alright if you want previews of upcoming chapters comments and etc. go to my fanfic LJ Asunakitty.

Kitty: Now start typing.

Me: Yeah, yeah and just for the people who requested it I will type one chapter where Shampoo can't talk in complete setences even though my computer will throw a fit.

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"Ranma if you would please refrain from interrupting me next time." Dumbledore gave Ranma a harsh glare very unusual for him, but Ranma didn't falter.

"No! If you are gonna make some statements about me I should be able ta tell you what I think!" Everyone in the hall at this point had an opinion about Ranma by now. Which was either she was the stupidest or bravest girl ever to grace Hogwarts halls. As this argument continued there was another conversation going on inside the student body.

"That red head, Ranma wasn't that her name, has real guts taking on the old man like that." Pansy whispered into Draco's ear.

"Yeah we could probably use that on our side." Draco sneered watching the two argue intently.

"What do you think of the others?"

"Well having a panda teach us defense is ridiculous, the one with the bandana looks strong, the brunette looks a little off I can't put my finger on it though ,and the one with the huge glasses reminds me of Granger."

"Yeah the girl with the bowl cut looks really butch and the one with the purple hair is probably just eye candy."

"Why don't we continue with the sorting shall we?" Dumbledore finally announced after his hands began to shake.

"When I call your name please step forward and put on the sorting hat." Professor McGonagall announced looking nervously at Dumbledore.

"Hibiki, Ryoga!" She shouted and Ryoga nervously went forward blinking in surprise when he actually arrived at the hat.

"Good going Ryoga you made it!" Ranma let a shout of glee for Ryoga who glared at her in response and jammed on the hat.

_I see why you mad getting lost so easily it must be hard on you._ Ryoga heard a voice through out his head.

_Who are you how do you know that about me?!_ Ryoga called out indignantly to the voice.

_It's my job to know these things don't worry about it you are going to meet some new friends and Dumbledore took care of your problem for now._

_What do you mean that old man took care of my problem?_ Ryoga never got an answer because at that moment a shout was heard.

"Gryffindor!" A loud cheer went up from a table mainly contributed by Harry and his friends who were eager to spend some time with the new students. Ryoga quickly shuffled over to the table never before hearing people cheer for him so.

"Kounji, Ukyo!" Draco watched as the 'guy' with the giant spatula strapped to 'his' back stepped forward.

_The nerve of these people! Coming into this school from some foreign place and not even showing up in their uniforms._

Draco was right for none of them were wearing their uniform in fact Ukyo was wearing her old boy's uniform from Furinkan high school.

_Interesting very interesting so you hide your femininity from everyone and blame it on the incident that the man you now love caused. _A voice echoed in Ukyo's head when she slipped on the raggedy old hat.

_Who are you?! Are you trying to separate me and Ran-chan? _Immediately all of Ukyo's defenses went up while she began to search for any enemies.

_Don't worry, but my, oh my you are an interesting person all of these plans to get one man? You must really care for him. I guess Hogwarts will put that to the test eh?_

_What are you talking about?!_ Ukyo began to get angry at her unseen foe and her battle ki began to rise.

"Slytherin!" The hat shouted out and few cheers went up from the far table, which were mainly girls thinking they just got a hot guy. Ukyo eagerly took off the hat and stormed off to her new table.

"Muu-Muu, Mousse!" Hermione separated herself from the conversation about Ryoga with Ron to check out the next person.

_He seems rather intelligent, but so did Harry. I just hope he is smart I need someone intelligent to talk with._

Mousse adjusted his glasses and then cautiously slid the hat on.

_Hello Mousse, anything you want to say before you are sorted? _The hat whispered in his ear.

_Are you trying to separate me and my darling Shampoo? I bet you and that fiend Ranma have teamed up together._

_What is it with you people and trying to kill each other?!_

"Gryffindor!" Hermione clapped the loudest with high hopes for a intellectual person. As Mousse began walking over the next name was shouted.

"Satome…Sotame?...umm…Ranma!"

"It's Sa-oh-tome! How hard is that?" Ranma stomped forward and grabbed the hat while the stunned students looked on.

_My, oh my aren't we angry, but I guess sorting you will be easier than the rest._

_What ya talking bout and why can't I see ya?_

_It's all in good fun my boy now go and meet your house mates._

"Gryffindor!" The look on the remaining twos face couldn't be any less worried about what just had went on.

"Tendo, Akane!" Akane still troubled at Ranma's placement walked slowly towards the hat. After looking over at Ranma who was busy ignoring the many attempts of flattery towards her, Akane slid on the hat.

_You seem one of the most sane people of your group do you know that? Then again you really aren't are you?_

_What did you just say about me?!_

_Nothing, nothing why don't you go into Gryffindor since your so worried about Ranma._

"Gryffindor!"

"This thing is fixed!" Ranma yelled out at the top of her lungs.

"I beg your pardon miss?" Dumbledore let out a heavy sigh as he looked over at Ranma.

"You heard me your all trying to kill me!"

"What do you mean?"

"Simple putting me in this house with Ryoga, Mousse, and now that tomboy they're going to try and kill me!"

"I assure you Ranma that all this was simply coincidence."

"Yeah right I bet it was all that un-cute tomboys fault…" Right then Akane hit Ranma over the head with her hammer.

"What did you say **Ranma**?!"

"Please settle **down**." Dumbledore exclaimed frightening many of the students.

"Xiong, Shampoo!" Shampoo rushed towards the hat and shoved it on her head quickly.

_Well an Amazon we have yet to be graced with someone from your tribe it is a pleasure._

_You will put me with my husband NOW!!! _Shampoo demanded for she had figured out, unlike everyone else that this hat determined where everyone went.

_I don't think that Gryffindor would be the best place for you, but don't fret I know where you should go._

"Slytherin!"

A/N: Yes the next chapter weeee aren't we having fun well yes I finally got them sorted and all opinions will be considered.


	10. The Anger

Diclaimer- wheee…I don't own it yeah…

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"That was hilarious!" Harry jumped up and down in front of Ranma acting much like a little kid.

"Yeah, it was kinda funny how Shampoo practically mauled the sorting hat." Ranma chuckled looking back on the moment.

Ranma flashback----

"What did you say?" Shampoo hissed at the object on her head.

"I said Slytherin my dear." The hat calmly replied waiting to be taken off the girl's head.

"You will put me with my darling Ranma right NOW!" Shampoo's battle aura was becoming apparent to all of the NWC -1-. The other thing that became apparent to the other students was that Shampoo had a thing for Ranma.

"So does that make this "Shampoo" a lesbian?" Pansy whispered to Draco.

"That would be useful because we would only have to convert one of them to get them all." Draco smirked making the girls in his general area melt in their uniforms.

"I'm sorry, but I have made my decision and it is final Miss Xiong."

"I don't care you will put me with my husband." Everyone in the Great Hall was paying attention now with only two people to stare at. The first was Shampoo who was having a hissy fit on the sorting stool and then there was the clearly female Ranma being called a "husband".

"Ranma do something." Akane quickly hissed grabbing Ranma by the neck of her shirt.

"What do you want me to do?" Ranma looked down nervously at the extremely pissed off Akane.

"Make her go to her house!"

"Ummm...I...uhh...Shampoo?" Ranma nervously called out looking over to the steamed Amazon.

"Yes husband?" Shampoo eagerly looked over to Ranma with noting, but pure love in her eyes.

"Could ya go to your house please?" Ranma for once looked the complete picture of subservience.

"Why would I do that husband it is my job to protect you?"

"I...uh...will visit you if you just go okay?"

"Of course husband."

End of Flashback---

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A/N – Okay it's been awhile since I updated I must admit, but everything that has happened since then has really taken it's toll on me and I went to Florida and recuperated so I will try and update more. Also sorry bout the whole short chapter and everything it's just I'm depressed and it doesn't help my writing.

Shad3ofFear – I don't know

GorunNova- Actually I find the DBZ anime entertaining, but I know what you mean I tried reading some DBZ fics and well let's say they weren't the best.

Unknown – I will take that into consideration and thanks

Nunofyorbiz – because if I didn't put them their well they would all end up in Gryffindor and I wanted people to at least be in two different houses.

Serenader – yep okay now

And that's all the review replies for now.

1. I have heard of the being referred to as the Nermia Wrecking Crew or NWC.


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